so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
