Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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