hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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