At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
