jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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