So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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