So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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