woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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