And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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