There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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