I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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