Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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