It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I love black thongs
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
