yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
