Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
