Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
