So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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