No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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