he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
