I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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