im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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