i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
