I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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