the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
