oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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