is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
