I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
