We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my liver is dry heaving
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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