what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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