just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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