Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
