I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
