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why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
