I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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