is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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