fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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