You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
