he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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