tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize