he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
