yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This girl is more easily done than said...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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