i already hear my dad disowning me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
what day is it and did you see me today?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
