when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize