Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.