apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out