Whod you bang
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
