My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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