i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
