I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
