P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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