Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
