I want to have your abortion
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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