i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it's like iHOP with fire
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
