I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
