Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
