Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
