I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
