whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are all done wearing pants today
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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